Deafening Silence

Instead of anger, I now feel pity and sadness. How sad it must be to no longer hear. I'm not talking about the audible sounds of this crazy world, but rather the stillness of God's voice. Being deaf to Him. And He no longer speaking to the deaf ears.

It's not that a physical illness has occurred. For if it had, the Healer would have restored the hearing or given uncommon strength to endure the silence. Instead a spiritual illness, a spiritual death - really a spiritual suicide - has transpired. A self-inflicted piercing that has led to deafness.

Hour after hour, day after day, week after week, month after long month --- no voice. He is silent.

At first, I must admit, I was angry with this condition. It seemed that they just didn't care. Who cared if the world went straight to hell. Who cared if neighbors were buried in cold earth. Who cared if children - their own children and grandchildren - inherited this deafness.

But today, I changed. Or perhaps the Voice told me to change. Instead of anger, although some still remains, I feel pity. How sad it must feel to open The Book and gain nothing, to hear The Word and actually hear nothing, to not feel His presence or hear His voice - at all.

Silence.

Total silence.

Deafening silence.

How sad to not be asked by the Father to do anything. To just sit. To just breathe lifeless air. To just exist.

Yet, there they are. We are ever reminded of them, for they are in our presence, in our pews, amongst us, yet not of us. They make their presence known, well known, through their voices, yet they can't hear our response. They don't understand what is going on. They sit with glazed-over eyes and hardened hearts.

Sometimes we feel alone in the world. There's so many of them. So few of us. Not that I am any better. My sins are many. Too many to bear myself. It is just that I can still hear. I haven't lost that. Oh, that I may never grow spiritually deaf. Please, Lord, keep me ears open to You. Remind me of my sins. Keep me in Your arms. Keep speaking. Yell, if you have too. I don't want to loose You. I don't want to loose Your Voice.